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LiveJournal for Matthew Vegas! - :Fashion.Bomb.Terrorist:.

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Sunday, August 9th, 2009

Subject:Not for sale
Time:1:58 am.

 don't want to get too like, astrophysics

but I believe in like, the power of greatness, the gravity of great things.

and then, the lack of that pole. That's my philosophy. space out, tune in, truely dedicate yourself to ...yourself.

Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Saturday, August 8th, 2009

Time:7:25 pm.
Mood: stressed.

No I am not dead. and stop being pissed off at me, to the people who thought I was.


this is what happend: my friend spent the night, he was drinking heavy and I myself, was dosing Dilaudid and  a small ammount of morphine, I nodded out, he thought I died.(he is an idiot)

so, he grabs my cell phone, calls alot of people telling them I OD'ed,

and that I WANTED them notified. once again, the guy is an idiot+the alcohol. 

my apologies to people who are pissed. sorry, but it WASN'T MY FAULT.

on a diffrent note; I will be coming to either seattle or bremerton, can anyone put me up for a couple of weeks? or I mighthave to go to the shelter again,

xo-hating miami and soonto be out of here, I am grapsing unto.

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Wednesday, July 29th, 2009

Time:10:40 am.
Mood: sore.

I brokemy fucking hand again[second time in2years]

oh and i love this[the lyrics mainly] not a rap fan but....

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Thursday, July 23rd, 2009

Time:5:20 am.

<center><b> Dear Mccall,

you own my body. blood. heart. and soul. I think you're the greatest person to ever walk this earth,

and love you with every fiber of my being.

thank you for always over-looking my fuck up's and believing in me, especially right now, when no one believes in me.

 I'll always stand beside you. I love you honey.

I just can't get you out of my head, you're my life-saver. <3
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Tuesday, July 14th, 2009

Subject:In a place where I make no mistakes.
Time:8:58 pm.

I have the strangest idea's of what I should and should not be doing right now.

maybe, Beka really was the only one who ever "got me" and ever will?

everyone else just stops talking to me and get's annoyed when I actually open up for once.

or don't reply back at all.

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Monday, June 22nd, 2009

Time:3:25 am.

I can't wait for summer to be over.

dad and I are sorta communicating again after 5 years. awkward.

I'm on  medicine, it makes me anxious, paranoid and a dick.

have a good summer, people. 


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Wednesday, April 29th, 2009

Subject:he is a canidate for failure
Time:8:31 pm.
Mood: cranky.


Right now, I have all the money I need(and then some) to go anywhere...to begin a new life, or atleast make the needed changes to my current life, so this will all be better.

I've never been so terrified in my life. I am such a walking contidiction. I want my old friends back, who constantly say they miss me, as much as I miss them.

on the other hand, I'm afraid of going back to my old frends, I figure they will abandon me, or I've probably changed too much(or too little) for their interests.

I really am at the deepest depression in my life, and the happiest moment of my life right now, topped with a mountain of confusion.
I'd just give anything to have somebody to talk to, and help me figure stuff out, I don't want to whimp out, and do something bad with this money...I think we all know what 'things' i'm referring to.

I can't get her out of my head. I hope it passes, but I know deep down, I'm going to have to pull off something very very drastic to finally make this all stop for once. god why is it that I finally have what I've been working so fucking hard for and now I'm terrified to take action

what is wrong with me? can anyone please help me out? I could use someone to talk to. nevermind blah.

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Monday, April 6th, 2009

Subject:Home from being in the hospital for 4 days.
Time:12:54 pm.
Mood: nauseated.

home from being in the hospital for 4 days. so many test, scans on my stomach. I've been vomitting blood clots, from a possible case of Crones. choking on long-cords and tube going through my nose and mouth deep in my stomach around my belly-button area', puking on myself over and over, too weak to get anything done, haven't ate anything or drank anything except a few jugs of water & gatorade since Friday.

antacid's...endoscopy's..stomach grinding..biopsy's, I broke a huge piece of Tooth from one of my back teeth, due to my teeth grinding from pain. oh well

going insane with this nauseated burning in my stomach, and no pain medicine. sweating like fucking crazy. total lack of reality, sickness, in both my stomach and my Mind. I have begun to fear my state of mind, I just don't know how to control these awful, off the wall thoughts. choke it down.  get over yourself.

Diladid sounds so beautiful at the moment..

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Friday, February 6th, 2009

Subject:I was bored at work.
Time:10:35 pm.

wake up every day with a hangover
With a boss like mine its hard to stay sober
I'm half an hour late I guess i'm right on time
I pick up some Brillo from dr Chore and smoke it on the ride
I keep a bottle of Wild Irish Rose in my briefcase...you better bet
My boss is lucky i dont freebase...yet
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Thursday, January 8th, 2009

Time:6:42 am.

I drink too much. it's making me sick of how crude I've become, not to mention pathetic.

I wish I was unkown these days. all people wanna talk to me about is either;

"Are you sober? come on it's SO EASY! DO IT!"


nobody is fucking fun anymore, and i've become a joke to my friends, and everyone. sickening.

i'm going to drink more, and try to forget the majority of you people. god help me

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Friday, January 2nd, 2009

Subject:Look east, spin heads.
Time:2:27 am.
"Six days of thoughts and mighty words and the world with its elements above and below was made." From this perspective, biblical figures are often recast as hoodoo doctors and the Bible becomes a source of conjurational spells and is, itself, used as a protective talisman."
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Monday, December 29th, 2008

Time:5:42 pm.

doyou ever feel like you're not quite sure what is coming next?

only in the dramatic/negative/paranoid/nodding aspects? that's my life now.

Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, December 17th, 2008

Time:5:30 am.
Mood: sick.

Matthew has....gotta find a way - a better way.


you're so paranoid girl. find youre way home tonight.

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Tuesday, December 2nd, 2008

Time:11:17 pm.
All truth is parallel, All truth is untrue
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Tuesday, November 25th, 2008

Subject:drill the bass bin
Time:8:00 pm.

You're tuned in to Asterix & Space, watch your bassbins i'm tellin ya
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Monday, July 21st, 2008

Time:5:55 am.

I pray to die in this state

I hope your dying too.

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Saturday, July 19th, 2008

Subject:suitcase full of sulfate--
Time:5:43 pm.
Mood: mellow.
corporate causes with self-served denial
the raping of the land
the lungs malfunction
they never learned to breathe.

post-morphine overdose; the glimmering streams of the third eye

Just do it. 
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Wednesday, July 16th, 2008

Subject:you must comply with us.
Time:4:53 am.

un-conditionly surrender - discussion is irrelavant.

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Wednesday, July 9th, 2008

Time:9:42 pm.
In regard to my last post..I have heard of such things. People have been attacked by squirrels as well.
 why are we always at the mercy of such terrible beasts?
That is the first sign!
The start of zombie crows, They will feed on us and what is not eaten will get up and feed!

it's spooky motherfucker, spoooky.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Monday, July 7th, 2008

Time:1:35 am.
Mood: bored.
I saw a squirrel eating a dead bird like a piece of corn on the cob, today. What does it mean? Are we next?
isn't this one of the signs of final judgment?

"And the squirrels will take to flesh and the rivers will swell with tears of the pestilent..."

Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

LiveJournal for Matthew Vegas! - :Fashion.Bomb.Terrorist:.

View:User Info.
View:Website (My blahhh Space).
You're looking at 20 entries, after skipping 20 newer ones. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries orforward 20 entries.