These dull blue eyes just look coldly from my grim-passive face, over run by that emotional apathy I used to find oh so appealing.
I just don't care anymore, as long as I can get ..there, every day, every hour/minute/second: as much as humanly possible, and for as long as possible and no one stands in my way. or adds a smartass remark about it, like they do.
--man, I'm just existing in what I feel like is my punishment; for getting to feel so good.. so much of the time, in the past.
with no regard or care, reckeless abandonment, selfish little prick, feed that monkey, boy, 'yes sir'..